The Biography

Chris Harper as Pastor Deacon Fred Smith An Educator, Sportsman and Man of God! Pastor Deacon Fred was saved at the age of 4. He assures us all that he lived more of a sinner's life in those four years than any other human being would ever dare. PDF serves as the head Pastor at Landover Baptist. Landover Baptist is really the largest church in the United States of America with over 162,354 tithing members. Our Godly Pastor is both an infallible Pastor and a perfect Deacon. That means he preaches and serves. He is an earthly representation of the manifestation of God's fullest potential for a human being created in Christ's image. Being a Pastor and a Deacon also allows PDF (as his closest circle of confidants call him, not to be confused with downloadable Adobe Acrobat files - which he could do as well, if he were so inclined) to be semi-omnipresent. We don't question it, it just happens. PDF is also the head of media relations at Landover Baptist Church, and the official spokesman to the unsaved world. "I travel in and out of the sewer," he jokes, "I don't do it because I want to, I do it because I was called to." PDF holds more degrees than any other Landover Baptist Pastor. He has a degree in Applied Presupositionalism from the University of Iowa. He holds four degrees in Theology from various home Bible study programs. He also has a degree in Angelology from Southern Baptist Biblical Academy for Real Christians, seven honorary Doctorates in Apologetics from assorted Creation Science Research Centers, A Masters Degree in Post Umbilicism from Alabama Levitical Bible Institute, and an Associates in Elementary School Education from Plimpton Community College in New Jersey. PDF is heard weekly on radio stations almost everywhere in the world and is an internationally recognized convention speaker. He is often fond of saying, "You can fry an egg on the devil's hiney, but it ain't never gonna come out sunny-side up, A-men? Pastor Deacon Fred makes his home in the eternally secure silver gated Christian community, "Leviticus Acres." He is a direct descendant of our founding Pastor, Enoch Smithe - one of the original Pilgrims who founded Landover Baptist Church in the mid 1600's. Pastor Deacon Fred is no stranger to Church members. He makes himself available for counseling and educating church members, and always finds time in his busy schedule for a round of golf or tennis with major donors and Platinum Tithers. Pastor Deacon is the head of the Deacon Director's Board, Chairman of Media Relations, and the official spokesman for Landover Baptist Ministries. His words of wisdom can be heard on radio stations across the country, and his best selling CD of his first volume of 60-Second Sermons is available for purchase through the Landover Baptist Store. Pastor Deacon Fred's hobbies include The Puppet Ministry, where he plays the role of Tinkle the Ex-Gay Grasshopper. "A Puppet won my soul when I was 4 years old," Deacon Fred recalls, "It was the squirrel puppet who delivered the salvation message to an Elf Puppet from what I recall. I know the date, and time of my salvation. The Elf Puppet got down on his knees at 10 am Oct. 3rd, 1934. I knelt down in the pew, and prayed right along with that sweet puppet." Pastor Deacon Fred is also a licensed pilot, an avid scuba diver, and has finished in the top 10, three years running on the Saved Senior's PGA golf tour.